Today’s DBlog Week topic is “The Blame Game.” How a visit to the doctor’s office can be a dreaded experience. How the way someone talks about our diabetes can be upsetting. How to deal with blame and judgment from others. And how to turn the situation around.
Living with diabetes can lead to feelings of despair, frustration, anxiousness and despair.
But only if we let it.
I was diagnosed at age 3. It’s what I knew growing up. And I knew I was different. Special diet (please shave the icing off Reed’s piece of birthday cake.) Special attention (have Reed go eat his mid morning snack). And the anxiety before and during a doctor’s appointment. (What’s my A1C this time? What else am I doing wrong?)
But I realized the mistake was mine. I was allowing others’ opinions to influence me. It wasn’t their comments or the visit to the doctor’s office that was creating my frustration. It was me … my reaction, my response.
Vernon Howard said:
- “Who is painfully negative when rain ruins the picnic … the rain or the reaction?
- Who gets hurt when someone breaks their promise to us … the broken promise or the person taking it with resentment?
In our diabetes world I’d frame it like this:
- Who is painfully negative when someone says you shouldn’t eat sugar … the comment or the reaction?
- Who gets hurt when the insurance company denies a claim … the denial or the person reacting to it?
When our son was diagnosed we talked about blood sugars and I said, “Hey it’s a number. It’s not you. You decide how to act on it.”
So rather than wish others would say things to please me (and good luck with that!), I’d rather change my response to their comments.
Managing diabetes is challenging enough without reacting to negative influences.